《雾》
Fog

茅盾
Mao Dun

| 译本摘自张培基《英译中唐诗选二》

雾遮归西正对着后窗的一带顶峰。
The mountain peaks directly facing the back window of my room were veiled in fog.

大意
1, 本句利用消沉语态,凸出施动者,也给人一款讯息感~
2, 将“雾”译为fog,而非mist,缘于第二指的是“薄雾”,fog 指“雾,雾气”,smog指“岚”,haze则是指“雾霾”

称述:“雾”的发泄有好种种,要寻找最适合用在的一款~

我还不知道另外顶峰叫甚么名儿。我来此的第一整晚就瞥见那最高的一座山的顶巅像刚玉装成的宝冕的灯笼。当成学习用的房里还不保险灯,每明天晚上在私自静坐,凝视这半空的一片光,会令我记起了儿时所读的传说。实在的呢,这陈设得很有条不紊的茫茫分解三层的火花,衬着黑qq的顶峰的穿插,无论若何,是会感染非人间的缥缈的话题的。
The names of these mountain peaks are still unknown to me. The first night when I was there I had seen the top of the highest mountain shining with lights like a precious crown set with diamond. As there was no electric light in my room, all I could do in the evening was sit quietly in the dark and fix my eyes on the midair radiance, which reminded me of the fairy tales I had read in my childhood. Indeed, the orderly array of lights shining in three indistinct tiers one above another against a background of dark mountain peaks could conjure up, without fail, visions of the ethereal.

大意
1,“我还不知道另外顶峰叫甚么名儿”译为The names of these mountain peaks are still unknown to me.翻译利用无灵谓语,可以于英文发泄习性,也杜绝了隔三差五应用I 收场造就的句式上的反复。
2,“当成学习用的房里还不保险灯,每明天晚上在私自静坐,凝视这半空的一片光,会令我记起了儿时所读的传说。”中的“不保险灯”与后文有潜伏的内因联络,是以译为As there was no electric light in my room, all I could do in the evening was sit quietly in the dark and fix my eyes on the midair radiance, which reminded me of the fairy tales I had read in my childhood.
3,“这陈设得很有条不紊的茫茫分解三层的火花”译为the orderly array of lights shining in three indistinct tiers one above another,中文多层谓语,译时要甄别前置和后置~

称述
顾全本段多层谓语的译~

但在星期五来分析,却就平凡得很。列的五六个顶峰,险左右,就只最西的一峰戴着一簇宝马,另外的仅既树;当心最大的一峰竟另有濯濯地一大块,像是娇娃头上的胆石病。目前那尚的晨雾把甚么都遮归西;不怕稍远的电线杆也躲得几乎无影踪。
In the daytime, however, it was all prosaic. The five or six peaks forming the front row were about the same height. The westernmost one had on top a cluster of houses while the rest were topped by nothing but trees. The highest one in the middle had on it a large piece of barren land, like the scar on a favus-infected human head. Now, as usual, the morning fog had shut out everything completely, including the not-too-distant wire poles.

大意
1,“列的五六个顶峰”多重谓语,分以后,些许表外形的“列的”应该后置,译为The five or six peaks forming the front row
2,“当心最大的一峰”亲主权的“当心“应该后置译为 The highest one in the middle
3,“濯濯” 指陡坡上满的情况,译为barren land
4,“娇娃头”是指黄`感染的头,译为favus-infected human head
4,文中形成屡次表现“阻止”的词,翻译通过有差别语境,甄别用了veil, shut out, shroud, obliterate作同义代替,仿佛总括哦

称述
本段主导则是就在多重谓语的译,表主权和外形的谓语应该后置译为谓语~

徐徐渐进地日光下光从浓雾中钻大伙喜欢了。那从而怜悯的日光下呢!光是那么好的淡弱。之后它也躲开,让白净的浓雾叼了少数,包围了品质。
Gradually, however, the sun managed to show through the dense fog. Yet how pitifully pale it looked! And soon it disappeared altogether, leaving the white thick fog to engulf everything and shroud mother earth.

大意
1,“钻”即“从…中显出”译为show through,在遇见麻烦翻或找不上对应词的抢沙时,我应该用一个说话或说话将此行为讲说大伙喜欢~
2,” 那从而怜悯的日光下呢!光是那么好的淡弱”意为“日光下的反光是那么好弱,真是怜悯”,合译为how pitifully pale it looked!

称述
顾全相比于不熟悉的抢沙的译或者本段的合译~固然还是要尽可能丰富了自己的字词,究竟结果要是过分应用说话和说话也会使语句变的繁复~

我臭骂这吊销少数的雾
I hate the all-obliterating fog!

我自然也憎恶北风和冰雪。但和雾非常一块,我是宁愿第二呵!北风和冰雪的天色可以PK,但也打破童鞋们波动一块奋斗。雾,雾呀,只使你烦闷,使你没精打采破落,像陷在沙砾沼中,满料想困兽犹斗,难的是无从出力呢!
Of course I hate biting wind and icy snow too. But when they are compared with fog, I would rather have the former than the latter! Though biting wind and icy snow sometimes be a killer, yet they can also spur people on to greater efforts. O you fog! You plunge us into a state of depression and dejection, from which we struggle in vain to extricate ourselves as if we were bogged down in a mire.

大意
1,“北风和冰雪的天色可以PK“译为biting wind and icy snow sometimes be a killer,些许”be a killer”比“kill people”加倍便捷青春~
2,“雾,雾呀,只使你烦闷,使你没精打采破落,像陷在沙砾沼中,满料想困兽犹斗,难的是无从出力呢!”译为O you fog! You plunge us into a state of depression and dejection, from which we struggle in vain to extricate ourselves as if we were bogged down in a mire.
① 原文是一个长哀叹句,翻译将第一的哀叹词稽延,之后译为讲的句,不错杀青
② “使…”译为plunge sb into
③ “陷在“译为bog down在外国语杀青中”像…”基本形成在句末或句中,这地方若要意义无异样,让其置于句末
④ 翻译很好地将“满料想困兽犹斗,难的是无从出力”和“沙砾谭”用一谓语从句串了一块译为from which we struggle in vain to extricate ourselves,些许“无从出力”即“对牛弹琴地”译为in vain,来精彩纷呈struggle“困兽犹斗”

称述:顾全本段用定从连接起的合译,合译最第一的不怕找谓语,找抢沙,找瓜葛~

傍午的时间,雾变成了牛毛雨,像门帘子的长久挂在窗前。两三丈里,便只见一片烟云——还是遮抹少数,只并非雾样的啊。不风。门前池中的残荷梗不时的遽然飞地稳定一块,之后便有红黑鲩的青春泼的动态划破了死也平静的水面。
About noon the fog turned into a fine misty rain like a curtain hanging still at the window. Some 30 feet away, a cloud of misty vapor prevailed, blotting out everything. The air was windless. Every now and then, the withered lotus stems in the pond in front of my door gave a sudden violent jerk as a red carp was seen splashing briskly out of the water to break the death-like silence.

大意
1,“只并非雾样的啊”译为misty安放vapor(水雾)前后便可,万无一失便捷
2,“门前池中的残荷梗不时的遽然飞地稳定一块,之后便有红黑鲩的青春泼的动态划破了死也平静的水面。”中“黑鲩的动态”与“荷梗的晃”是潜伏的内因联络~用as

称述:语句间的瓜葛大部分解内因或容让~

我不知道红黑鲩的轨外作为是并非若要不妙憋气的压迫?在我呢,既然工厂不杲杲的日光下,便宁愿有风寒小雨,极为不耐这愁雾的躯体的牛毛雨长久像门帘子也挂在窗前。
I wonder if the red carp’s aberration was due to its impatience with the unbearably oppressive status quo. As for me, failing a bright sunshine, I would rather have a violent storm. I cannot endure the fine misty rain which came in the wake of the gloomy fog to linger like a curtain hanging still at the window.

大意
1,“红黑鲩的轨外作为”中的“轨外”意即“畸形”或“特别”,故上下为the red carp’s aberration,意同the red carp’s abnormal behavior
2,” 既然工厂不杲杲的日光下”意为“如无清纯光”,译为failing a bright sunshine,些许failing 为方位词,作“要是不”解
3,“愁雾的躯体的牛毛雨”从而多层谓语,些许“愁雾的躯体”即“伴因为愁雾而来的”应该后置,译为the fine misty rain which came in the wake of the gloomy fog

称述
这篇软文句式基本无难处,第一清楚多层谓语和回头语句合译技巧~

声明:本双语软文的中文评析系优德w88中文外国语原创本质,刊登请注明典故。中文评析仅表征笔杆子很特别的一些说法,仅供参阅。若有失当的地方,喜爱就正。